GRATITUDE LETTER

Continued From -  FACE IT

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I thought about different ways to convince them for next two days. While trying to figure out ways from whatever I had read till that day, it reminded me of one of the principles mentioned in book, ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People.’ It said that when you want others to appreciate what you have, you should first appreciate what they have. It applied in my situation that I should tell my parents what they had done to me and they will appreciate what I have. The only way to make them believe in me was to appreciate their efforts, their sacrifices and their love.

But, how to do it? Only telling them won’t make any difference. There should be the way in which my deepest feeling will be conveyed. Again, my reading habit came to the rescue. I read a book, ‘The Whole New Mind,’ by Daniel Pink, in which he mentioned about gratitude letters. Writing a letter to your loved ones to thank them for whatever they had done for you. It should be written on the paper in your own handwriting, no typing and read aloud in front of them. He also mentioned that people cry after reading and listening to these letters. Relationships had been healed, strong bonding had been restored and lot more benefits with the single letter.

The concept was simple, but the execution was so difficult for me. I think twice, thrice before asking anything to my father. How was I going to write and read a gratitude letter in these conditions in which he might be mad at me? It was exciting, but I thought about discarding this way. But I had no other way, so I decided to go with this.

For the whole night, when everybody slept, I took a pen and a book and started thinking about all the sacrifices or special things they had done for me from the childhood. Reminiscing all, I made some rough notes of memories. I could recollect from 3^rd standard. Once I got enough memories, I started writing an actual letter. My chest was pounding. I couldn’t imagine what will happen when I will actually read aloud in front of them. It was Thursday night. Till 4 am in the morning, I finished both the letters. One for mother and one for father. I decided that I will read them in front of them on Saturday night. I couldn’t gather courage on that night. So I decided, on the Sunday night. Again, I couldn’t.

While sleeping, I was determined that I will do it next morning no matter what. On the Monday morning, I took two letters and two photographs. One photograph was me and father in which he was holding me on right arm when I was 2 years old and another was me and mother in same pose. I went into the hall. He was watching TV. Without giving any idea of what I was going to do, I started reading the letter which included little incidences of sacrifices and special things he did for me from childhood till that day and thanked him for each and every little thing. He was startled. When I finished reading, I gave it to him with a photograph. I did the same thing with my mother. When I finished with both, father didn’t take it seriously and mother demanded that I should write a book on her, only a letter won’t do anything. We chuckled. I didn’t get any reaction mentioned in that book, so I was little disappointed thinking that the impact hadn’t been made.

After two minutes silence, my mother asked why did I do it? I answered that to appreciate what you had done for me. Then she asked me about what had whether I decided about my future. I told them that I want 4 months to test this idea, and then I will decide what to do. They agreed. I was happy. At least for 4 months, I will live my dream. Who knows what will happen next? But, one thing I learned that day. Only 20 seconds of courage and everything changes.

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This post is also a part of Ultimate Blog Challenge and A to Z Challenge. 

Today's letter is 'G'.

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To know more about yourself from your smile, send me photo of your smile. I respect your privacy, so I assure you that your identity will not be revealed anywhere. And this service is absolutely free!!

Email Id. - iwantsmileforme@gmail.com

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(Image courtesy of Naypong at FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

DISCOVERY - TURNING THE BLESSING INTO A TRAGEDY

The time was for preparation leave for final exams. I was supposed to be preparing for those, but my mind was busy in brainstorming the ideas of business. The focus should have been studies, but I couldn’t help it. Whether it maybe bike riding or swimming or a new idea, I get so obsessed with it in early stages. When we could do a new thing, we get so much interested that we want to explore every small thing of it and do it as soon as possible. That excitement is different. For the whole day, I used to think about how will I do it, what is going to happen, and the real work didn’t even start, but I was visualizing lot of things.

In addition to that, I made a discovery. From 3 years, I found 3 patterns in smile which could be related to human nature, but in those days while thinking about smile and these business strategies, I got a new ways to look smile. It resulted in 3 new patterns in smile. I got those three patterns, but didn’t have criteria to relate to in human nature. I was supposed to keep these things out of my mind, but it actually equipped my mind. I wasn’t able to concentrate on studies. I was thinking more about those 3 patterns and how to relate to human nature. The obsession for smile was driving me away from the important things at that time. The focus shifted results in undesired consequences. I wasn’t able to answer questions in orals, college teachers were so disappointed with me and I was being naïve with no sense of responsibility.

It was final year, the most crucial. I had to graduate or things will get difficult in future. The most difficult part, which is convincing my parents to let me choose the road less travelled will get more difficult if I don’t have a degree certificate. Else, they wouldn’t believe in me thinking that if I can’t crack the university exam, how will I survive the tougher challenges of life? Maybe they would ask me to do a job first and then do the business as part time, or they would never be convinced with my idea, because it doesn’t exist and thinking no one will pay me for that, I’ll struggle for making ends meet. Lots of challenges were there, but the most important thing at that time was to complete graduation and if I don’t study, how will I pass?

Eventually, it happened what I didn’t want to happen. I couldn’t focus on studies; my mind was overflowing with ideas and fantasies all the time. I used to open the book, but the focus was on smile. Due to lack of focus, I couldn’t write enough to pass the examination. I left two papers blank, barely wrote to get 20 marks out of 100. I was in deep trouble. Things were happening with me much faster that I couldn’t relax my mind and focus on important thing. The discovery supposed to be blessing, but I made it a tragedy by being naïve. I didn’t even know how would I tell my parents that I was getting 2 backlogs? They don’t believe in concepts living a dream, living in uncertainty or taking risks to follow passion and sacrificing everything to focus on one thing. They always believed in getting a well secured job and do everything else after the start of fixed income. I realized my mistake, but the time was gone. Only consequences were the sure thing, and I wasn’t going to like it. 

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This post is also a part of Ultimate Blog Challenge and A to Z Challenge. 

Today's letter is 'D'.

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To know more about yourself from your smile, send me photo of your smile. I respect your privacy, so I assure you that your identity will not be revealed anywhere. And this service is absolutely free!!

Email Id. - iwantsmileforme@gmail.com

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(Image courtesy of digitalart at FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

CLARITY IS STRENGTH

Confusion gets us nowhere; it’s the clarity that gives us strength to move forward. One thing was clear to me that if I want to live life of my dreams, I have to follow people who are doing it and take their guidance. It doesn’t matter whether I’m meeting them in person or I’m reading about them, watching their videos or reading the wisdom they shared through books. I have to get into the mindsets of great people if I want to be like them. From one year, I had been reading various books that would give me a way to do something with the knowledge I have, but at that moment I had a clear idea of which books should I read, what were my circumstances and how great ones used to think in those situations. Being an introvert, I gave more emphasis on reading books, blogs, watching videos online, listening to podcasts and audio books.

I came across some great wisdom that was giving me the clarity of my vision; not of business, but of life. I fell in love with quotes. They are short, but convey deep meaning. Through quotes, I was getting more clarity, and by reading books, watching inspirational and motivational videos, my belief system was forming. Because of it, I felt that I was on different mindset, on different magnitude, thinking on whole new level. Robin Sharma said, “Either you can change the world or worry about fitting in, but you can’t do both,” which gave me confidence that I have to choose one path. Thinking about path, I came across a great poem by Robert Frost, ‘The Road Not Taken’, in which said, “Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference.”

Yes, I’ll take the road less traveled, but will things work out right? And Martin Luther King, Jr. said, “You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.” I realized that I have to take the first step in faith. But, there will be ups and downs, how will I survive those times. What if I suffer? What if first step in faith proved to be right, but after that, it falls apart? I got answer of it in Paolo Coelho’s book, The Alchemist, in which he said, “No heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams.” I was relieved but still thinking about backup plan, though all these lines were inspirational and appealing to anyone to follow their dreams. It all seems captivating from outside, to read these lines, thinking that everything will be alright, I won’t be suffering, but in reality, will everything happen in a way I planned? Yes, I have to improvise, change strategies, but will this give me the happiness and sense of fulfillment?

Few days of self doubt and I watched a TED talk by leadership expert Simon Sinek, ‘How Great Leaders Inspire Action’, in which he explained how great leaders survive in the difficult times and they inspire others to take actions without using carrots and sticks method. He also wrote a book named ‘Start With Why.’ In the book, he explained that the great leaders start with the question ‘Why’, not ‘What’. Before doing anything, they think about why they want to do what they want to do. That ‘Why’ gives them the courage to persevere in difficult times. Friedrich Nietzsche said, ‘He who has why to live can bear anyhow.’ This wisdom was giving me confidence to do, to prepare my mind for the uncertain future. I was reading more and more about how great leaders think, how they do the things, what gives them the courage to take risks and succeed.

I made a decision that instead of thinking about backup plan, why not to think how plan-A will work out right? Instead of wasting energy in preparing some backup plan, why not to invest that energy in making plan-A a successful adventure? As Paulo Coelho said, “When you want something, the whole universe conspires you in helping you achieve it.” Clarity is strength. I was clear that I was going to do something impossible, unrealistic, unreasonable and impractical. Something the world doesn’t know about. I was going to do a business based on my research how smile is related to human nature and solve people’s personal as well as relationship problems through their smile.

Thanks to the great ones for sharing their wisdom through different mediums.

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This post is also a part of Ultimate Blog Challenge and A to Z Challenge. 

Today's letter is 'C'.

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To know more about yourself from your smile, send me photo of your smile. I respect your privacy, so I assure you that your identity will not be revealed anywhere. And this service is absolutely free!!

Email Id. - iwantsmileforme@gmail.com

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(Image courtesy of Jeroen van Oostrom at FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

RUNNING A BUSSINESS: SHARING AN EXPERIENCE – FERGUSSON COLLEGE DAY 1 & 2

After one week gap of useless excuses, I went to Fergusson College, Shivajinagar, Pune for promotional campaigning. I wasn’t in flow, my confidence was down. In addition to that I had to do everything in college campus. It has a huge campus, so no one hangs out outside of college. On first day, I didn’t do anything. I could dare to do it in campus. The feeling of breaking the rules and not being in flow was overwhelming. I could not gather courage to show up. I knew everything what to do, but for 2 hours I was roaming in campus. I thought that I should not waste time for no reason. I observed everything, where people hang out, where are security guards, where are kattas, what kind of people study there, so basically I wanted to know the whole scenario. For the first day, I didn’t approach anyone due to no reason, but I gathered the information needed.

As I didn’t do anything on day one, I decided that today I will approach the first group I’ll come across. Before entering in the campus, I was ready with everything I needed to show up and saw the first group of 10 students. Without thinking twice, I approached them. This time I changed a strategy little bit. In modern college, it was explaining the whole file, all about my work, services I provide and then giving a demo of analysis of smile to a random person from the group. This time, after giving a short introduction about me & informing about what I do, I picked the most popular guy of the group using simple observations. The one who shows the most interest and first to take initiative to take the file from me to know what it is about. As I started telling about him, everyone was nodding in surprise and as soon as I finished telling about him, everyone in the group was like ‘wow, man! You got it all correct!’ Everyone was shocked and this reaction was so different than the reactions I used to get in modern college.

Then, I explained the whole file. Everybody got interested and wanted to know more about themselves. But I said that due to time limitations, I can tell about two or three, not more than that. They understood it. And a girl said pointing to a guy and a girl that they are in a relationship and wanted me to tell whether they have future together or not. I told them that I can’t reveal this information in front of everyone, it’s confidential, but I can tell about any one of them from his or her smile. They agreed. As I started telling that guy everyone’s attention was on him, but a girl from back side pointing towards the most popular guy secretly, avoiding anyone’s attention asked me whether their relationship will work or not. I was explaining a guy about him and she was signaling with her hand, pointing toward the most popular guy and wanted to know secretly without anyone’s attention. In my mind, I was ‘lol, what was that?’ But on face, I overlooked it, smiled at her and continued explaining. Then, explained about another girl, asked them whether they want to ask any doubts, cleared their doubts and left with a satisfaction that I got into flow.

I approached more groups in college. It went as usual. Before approaching any group, I used look around if any college officials were there and then approached. Breaking the rules is so much fun and exciting. Another thing that I changed from this college, whenever I approach any group, I used to look around avoiding eye contact and then go to them; but this time I started looking into the eyes of some of the students in the group. It increases confidence and it’s relaxing. Eye contact makes a lot of difference. I approached 30 students overall in various groups and left the college.

As I came out of gate, I saw group of 4 students. One of the girls was holding a book named ‘social psychology’. I thought that they would understand everything what I was about to present. Immediately, I opened my bag, took files out and thought that I shouldn’t approach them on street-side, I should approach them tomorrow. But I decided that I should not think twice. So I approached them, asked them whether they were psychology students. Only one girl was. I started explaining file, the same strategy I used for this college. To my surprise, as I started telling the girl about her from her smile, she was shocked; all of them were giving same amount of attention and listening earnestly. Their reactions were amazed me. We had an intelligent conversation. I was glad that I took the step. The street wasn’t the matter anymore. I gave my contact details and left. The day was over.

I am sharing some insights that would help you in your endevour to design the best life for me and yourself:

1. If we are not confident, just pretend and feel like we are confident. It makes a difference and more relaxing.

2. Look around before breaking the rule. When the field is clear, then take the step. It's fun but risky as well.

3. Do not procrastinate an important thing that is so close to you. We do not know whether we will get tomorrow.

4. Embrace what's uncomfortable. We will never be the same person as before. Stretching ourselves is not easy, but the self satisfaction is more beautiful.

Thanks for reading. Add your own lessons and express your views if I missed anything, give your feedback to improve...

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To know more about yourself from your smile, send me photo of your smile. I respect your privacy, so I assure you that your identity will not be revealed anywhere. And this service is absolutely free!!
Email Id. - iwantsmileforme@gmail.com

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(Man Offering Hand Shake Image courtesy of imagerymajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

8 Ways I will help you bring SMILE For You In 2015

Alas for those that never sing, but die with all their music in them. — OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES, THE VOICELESS

This year, do not hold yourself back by giving in to fears and unleash your greatest potential.

8 Ways I will help you bring SMILE For You In 2015:

1.  Sharing the experiences lessons learnt while running a business on facebook, blog that will help you in your endeavor. Subscribe or Follow blog via email. Let's be friends on facebook: Pratik Kirve

2.  Share your personal stories, experiences and struggle on your facebook profile and blogs. I’ll share them on my blog, facebook profile, page SMILE FOR YOU and twitter.

3.  Helping you know more about yourself. Send photo of your smile at iwantsmileforme@gmail.com

4.  Sharing self-help eBooks that will help you to grow your wisdom and conscience. Download some eBooks from here: Free EBooks

5.  Sharing inspirational, motivational and meaningful videos, podcasts that will help you get out of your comfort zone and do the right thing.
Watch: Be Different - http://youtu.be/lTBsVx89Sps

6.  Consulting personally to help you find meaning and purpose in life and solve any other problems through your smile. Visit – Know Yourself

7.  Setting a vision for your life to supercharge you to live your life to its full potential every day.

8.  If you are struggling in a relationship, consulting you to solve your problems to cherish and experience a ton of joy. Visit - Relationships

Watch a video to know more: http://youtu.be/cXId2sJi_C0

“The greatest revolution of our generation is the discovery that human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives.” – William James

Just let me know how can I help you???   

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(Man Offering Hand Shake Image courtesy of imagerymajestic at FreeDigitalPhotos.net)

RUNNING A BUSINESS: SHARING EXPERIENCE DAY1

I have just started a consulting business to solve people’s problems from their smiles. For the promotions of idea and how it will help them solve their problems in life, I decided that I’ll go to various colleges to target youth. First college was Modern College of Arts, Science & Commerce, Pune. I am sharing the experience and what I learnt from FIRST DAY of promotional campaigning.

On first day, I went to principal’s office to get permission to campaign in their campus. But he was busy, so peon asked me to go to vice-principal’s office. I asked for it and as I started explaining how it will help their students, he asked me, ‘which college do you represent?’ I said that I don’t represent any college. He said we don’t give permission to random people. I left. I planned a lot of things, how I was going to approach, what to say, what to show, and many more. And I also decided that I am not going to lie about anything. But now, what to do? I thought that students did not know whether I had permission or not, they were just going to listen what I had to say. So I decided that I am going to approach people in their campus by breaking the rules. I also saw a board stating that outsiders are not allowed in college premises, if found, strict action will be taken. But I decided whatever may happen, let’s have fun. I had file in which everything had explained, a page on which a story was written about how I found my purpose and a sketch to draw patterns of smile found in people to explain them about themselves. I was wearing formal dress and formal shoes.

I had everything required to start a discussion. I made up my mind to break the rules. But…  As I was going to discuss something they do not know even exist, the overwhelming feeling of fear to show up, to expose myself, to express myself was so high. Even though I had everything with me to show them, but I was only walking back and forth in corridor. I couldn’t gather courage to show up. For that moment, I was nervous, uncomfortable, sweating, throbbing in chest, I couldn’t understand what was happening to me, everything was ready, but fear. I thought that breaking the rules were making me nervous, but it was an excuse. Who was going to know whether I was a stranger or college student? That wasn’t the reason. Then I thought that this was not the right platform to promote, no one will show interest, nobody had done it, and it’s new thing. All the excuses were coming into my mind. I thought that what was I thinking? Those were all excuses.

Then all the quotes about fear and getting out of comfort zone came into my mind. What you want is on the other side of fear, magic starts at the end of your comfort zone, you miss 100% of shots you didn’t take, do what’s uncomfortable and you will grow, and many others. But I thought that tomorrow, I will make mind that no matter what will happens I will approach, I will show up. Again, that was excuse. For half an hour, I was walking back and forth with these thoughts in my mind. 

Then I took out files and pages of story. I was looking at them and thought, when I didn’t have this, I was hoping, wishing for this. But now I have this and I am holding myself back. I saw a group of four girls sitting in a campus and just started walking towards them, same fear, uncomfortable, just walking. When I reached, they looked me like a salesman who was going to force them to buy my product, only because I was wearing formal clothes. Their faces were irritated. My first impression sucked. With fake smile, I introduced myself, in English. Errr.. Their faces were more annoyed. I asked them for their two minutes and have a look at file. They even hesitated to take those files in hand. But they took it. I forgot everything I planned, what I was going to say, how I was going to make them take interest in idea, I started saying what was there in file, in low tone, in lower confidence, and they were reluctant to make eye contact. They were going through file just because wishing for last page to come soon and I will disappear. I was speaking in English, their heads into files, no enthusiasm in me, they were listening to me for formality. The funniest part, guys sitting next to them, but of different group was also looking at me, and one of them was winking at me, raising eyebrows, asking what’s going on, the guy-guy connection(when a guy approaches a girl, the another guy is more excited). I was telling them by blinking eyes that I’ll get back to them. I didn’t understand whether to laugh or what? In meantime, one of the girls whispered something in Marathi, I couldn’t hear it, but I understood that it was Marathi. Then, I realized that why they were not connecting with me. I started speaking in Marathi. For the first time, after introduction, they looked at me. They felt connected. As I explained everything in Marathi, they were nodding, giving response. The file finished.

Then I said to one of the girl, right now, I’ll tell about you from your smile to give you an idea of how I do. Then she became uncomfortable, she said no, not now. She was laughing, but that time I realized that I should not be the one who should fear about getting exposed. The people whom I am going to approach should fear that if I say something different about them, something weird about them, it’s them who should be worried about. She was reluctant that she wasn’t interested in knowing about her. So I gave them a page of story with contact details on it and asked them to call whenever they need me. Forget about buying my services, they were not ready to know how it works. I left. But I thank them for listening to me.

Then, it was the time for the guys sitting next to them, who were bantering on me, when I was talking to girls. They were ready to listen what I had to offer. This time, I started in Marathi. I was more relaxed, less anxiety on my face. I observed them and knew in which language they will understand (not Marathi or English, but the rowdy Marathi language). I started explaining in their tone, they felt connected, nodding, giving reactions, didn’t understand everything, but trying to. I again explained file only, no strategy executed as per the preparation, but enough to convey my idea. File finished. Then I said to a guy that I’ll tell you about you from your smile. He agreed. Everyone was listening. I drew patterns on page and started explaining everything. I gave examples with reference to who they were and in their tone. (like in rowdy Marathi, samaz tula wadaa-pav khayalaa jaychayy… I couldn’t say ‘for coffee’, they will not feel connected). So as I was explaining them in their way, everyone was surprised. They were smiling in shock, saying yes, yeah.. when I said something that relates to his nature. I said everything I had to say about him and gave him the page. Another guy stood up and said, tell me about myself. I said sure. But their friend came to them and informed them that they got to go. And everybody stood up and said, ‘we gotta go.’ I shook hand with everyone, they told me their names and said nice to meet you, I asked them to contact me on the details I gave on that page and they rushed. Looking at their appearance and body language, I thought they will make fun of me, ridicule me as they were sitting in a group, but they listened to me patiently, earnestly and treated me with respect. I came to know they were not going to buy, but I thank them for listening to me and showing interest.

I got more relaxed. I was thirsty. As I opened zip of bag to take the bottle out and looked back. A teacher in a suit was scolding a student. He was complaining that how many times they had to inform college students not to bring outsiders in the campus. I was little scared, but glad that he wasn’t referring to me. And security guard came and ordered every student in campus to go out of the gate. I thought that I just got momentum and on next second, everything finished, I had to pack up. Everyone was out of the gate. I looked around, thought I can’t approach them on streets, what impression I am going to make, and will they listen to me? Again the same thoughts of that half hour came into my mind. This time, I couldn’t gather courage to approach students on street-side. I contemplated a lot, but couldn’t. Day1 was over for me after first 20 minutes only. I could interact with 10 students only who were not potential buyers. But lot of thing I learnt from that experience that I am going to improve on the next day.

I am sharing some insights that would help you in your endevour to design the best life for yourself:

1. Know with whom you are interacting and Speak Their Language.

2.Talk more about how it will benefit them and what they are concerned about than what it is actaully or technically.

3. Appearance matters, but target audience matters more. We have to look like one of them to connect with them.

4. If it is certain that we miss 100% of the shots we didn't take, why not to take a shot, take a chance. 

5. Our competancy, preparation, passion and all on one hand, they are important. But if we don't have that one quality on the other hand, it's all usslasss.. That quality is Courage To Show Up.

6. And there only one step to aquire that quality : JUST GO & DO IT. There were no any other ways or steps I could find.

Tomorrow I'll share experience of DAY2. :)

Thanks for reading. Add your own lessons and express your views if I missed anything, give your feedback to improve.. :) :)